Going away for awhile...don't know if I will be back...it seems like I really need to just drop out of things for a long while to re assess things.
Unfortunately people are going to either be pissed, sad, afraid I am going to do something to myself (I have spent a lifetime of "doing something to myself" so I don't think that is something to worry about) or bugging the shit out of me trying to get me to talk about it or probably not even notice at all. Since when haven't I talked about it? Sounds like a good time to quit talking about it whatever it is..because it is never one thing...
All I can say is I have nothing left to give to everyone..I am burnout and still have not taken any time to repair the shit I have done to myself or the shit the world has kicked out of me either.Thus I have become totally useless to everyone, they might not think so but I know who I used to be and I have not been that person in a long time.
Do I completely know what I am doing? Hell fucking no, yet I have ignored this long enough and if I don't take time to hole up and fix this I am going to hurt a lot more people than I have already.
And I would like to survive this all...there is much to be done for this to happen...
Sometimes it takes a long time, other times it is just a matter of a month or two. The hardest part is knowing I have to do this so I can stay alive and knowing it is going to hurt quite a few people.Sucks to do the necessary thing sometimes.I fucking hate it..and right now I am not really fond of myself either...
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