What The Fuck Do I Do Now.....

It is almost the end of 2011 and about a month away from being the end of my fortieth year on this earth.Was a year of definitely highs and lows, and right now it is a state of flux.There are many possibilities in front of me as to what this next year will be.All of them depend on my decisions ultimately yet a few possible outcomes have a lot to do with other people or circumstances. As it is I have no idea as to what is  going to come.Some things I can change and push forward on my own other things depend on me waiting for more information or things to align themselves in a stable pattern.

Never did quite quit smoking or drinking though I can say I am drinking far less.In fact the last time I drank I had found I am kind of  losing the taste for it. I did get working this year and still have the job though the hours are crap and I must find either a full time job or a decent second job. The only other bad part is because of the hours and constantly changing days I rarely get time with my daughter, my girlfriend who I never see anymore , and friends that i have not seen in about nine months.And having to be stuck back at the parents house again til i can save and find a place kinda sucks as usual.As for my relationship better off saying very little because it is not concrete nor is it dissolved.

Again we head into a new year and there are things I must accomplish.Mentally and physically and spiritually I desire to have more control and discipline and advancement in all three of those areas.I must find more work and get moved out.I will wait and see where my relationship goes.I will get in better shape.Good thing is i have lost quite a bit of the weight so am feeling better.I must start drawing again and a few other things I need to start again.Most of all I want to stay just being a happy positive realistic person in the face of all the horrible shit that likes to happen to me at the same time.Fuck this being depressed and immobile.I have shit to accomplish.